HI, I WAS WONDERING AS A COACH IF YOU CAN ANSWER THIS QUESTION FOR ME. MY DAUGHTER IS IN THE 9TH GRADE AND HAS BEEN PLAYING VOLLEYBALL FOR MANY YEARS. SHE LOVES THE GAME VERY MUCH. SHE MADE THE TEAM AND A FEW DAYS IN SHE TOLD THE COACH THAT AS A FAMILY WE WILL BE GOING AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND IN SEPT.
HER COACH SAID FINE JUST REMIND WE A WEEK AHEAD OF TIME. WELL WE DID AND COACH GOT MAD BECAUSE IT WAS THE WEEKEND OF THEIR FIRST TOURNAMENT.
NOW FOR 2 WEEKS SHE WILL NOT LET MY DAUGHTER PLAY IN ANY GAMES AND SHE WAS THE STARTER. SHE TOLD HER SHE WILL HAVE TO EARN HER SPOT BACK. I GET THAT SHE IS MAD BUT I DONT THINK MY DAUGHTER SHOULD HAVE TO CRY EVERY NIGHT ABOUT THIS AND SHE DOES.
I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING BUT I DONT WANT TO MAKE THINGS WORSE. I REALlY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DONT WANT HER TO QUIT THE TEAM OR HATE THE GAME. THANKS K.M.
This is why us coaches can get the reputation of being nutz! It sounds like your daughter communicated the previous family commitment correctly, but the heat/stress of the season got to the coach. All coaches can get out of balance during the season because there is just so much going on and our competitive nature can lead to a different answer to the same question.
I have two suggestions:
1. Let it go because your daughter is a freshman, and will have 3 more years with the program. It is a wonderful complement that she made the team as a freshman and keep the positive focus on that accomplishment. The more energy you put into the raw situation, the more your daughter is going to feed on it. As a coach, I can see mandating that your daughter re-earn her starting position because she did miss part of the season (no different than being injured, out sick, etc) and she needs to re-demonstrate that she has the skills/ability to get back on the court. But, I can't agree with punishing her for two weeks because of a prior family commitment. Again, just stay positive, tell your daughter that it is a tough situation but that it will only make her mentally stronger to overcome this challenge; and do not approach the coach.
2. Don't schedule any more family vacations during the Volleyball season, as this is an unwritten rule for high school athletics (and most junior high); but as a incoming freshman family, you may not have been aware of this. Part of being a starter is being responsible to the success of the team and part of being on a team is putting the team first during the season. Because of this responsibility, families will make sure to schedule their vacations immediately upon the conclusion of school/club volleyball, so they don't conflict with summer camps and or high school season start.
Again, stay calm, let the water pass under the bridge and there are still many, many matches left in the season. Focus on the fact she is doing very well, and after this craziness passes she will do well once again!
THANKS FOR WRITING BACK. I KIND OF KNEW ALREADY TO TRY AND LET IT GO, BUT IT IS HARD WHEN YOU SEE YOUR KID SO UPSET. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT MA MA BEARS. WE WILL JUST WAIT IT OUT. THANKS AGAIN K.M.
Hang in there - Soon it will just be a memory (not a fun one, but still in the past).