How should a parent deal with a coach that won't play her daughter? I only ask this because my daughter has been playing volleyball since she was in the 7th grade and she is now in the 10th grade and for 3 years she was coached by coaches that knew the game and she usually always started and pretty much played the entire time but now she has a coach that doesn't know anything about volleyball (she is actually a basketball coach) and she is not playing at all. Now my daughter is not pro at the game but she is good. I just don't understand at all why she is not playing, the coach says that she's not doing anything wrong but she really can't tell me why she is not playing. Coach has her at middle and I asked her why not try her in another position like outside and she just tells me I DON'T NEED HER ON OUTSIDE. But the players she has on outside aren't doing very well (no game has been won) oh except a game that my daughter actually got to play in. Now I'm not saying just because my daughter played they won but the coach actually did some subbing out (allowing the ones that have been playing the entire time) rest.
I am very frustrated as a parent trying to deal with this because I have approached the coach (probably not the right thing to do) but I have also talked with the principle of the school and of course they took her side saying that when the coaches knowledge of the game grows then she will be better. Well what does my daughter do in the mean time, she is a sophomore and only has 3 years left of school. This is the only sport my daughter likes and I feel like they are taking that away from her and me as well because I love to watch her play. Actually both of my girls play/played.
WHY DO WE TRY TO PUT INTO OUR KIDS TO BE A PART OF A TEAM WHEN PLAYING SPORTS BUT WE DON'T LET THEM BE PART OF THE TEAM? Can you answer that?
Sorry to hear of your frustrations with your daughter's high school volleyball situation - If it is any conciliation, I receive many emails each fall with regards to this subject.
This situation is the fault of the Athletic Director, not so much the coach. The AD put a coach with no volleyball experience into the head coach position; the coach is probably doing the best they can given their lack of knowledge or experience (as good of a VB coach as I may be, I would be out of my depth of an AD had me become a lacross coach). Coaching rally score volleyball is a challenge because the coaching work must be done in practice and determining the lineup changes after evaluating performance, along with trying out new rotations/player positions in practice.
A few things to consider:
1) Your daughter is just a sophomore and there is still time for this situation to improve; the coach gains experience, goes to coaching clinics, etc. At least your daughter is not a senior, being faced with this challenge.
2) With the development of club volleyball, high school volleyball is not do or die, as it may have been in the past. There are any number of high school volleyball players which must endure sup bar coaches, lessor competition, etc.
3) If your daughter plays club, which I hope she does simply because it can be a great avenue to develop skills and play against higher level competition, then use this high school season as a free way to get touches on the volleyball - Not the answer you want, but take the negative (coach who is inexperienced) and turn it into a positive; touching the ball everyday and no charge to do so!
Now a deep statement - Your mentality will create your daughter's reality. All you are doing now is yelling at the trees; the forest is not going to move. You talked to the AD, you talked to the coach and nothing will change. You must put this behind you because the frustration/anger you are feeling will be mimicked by your daughter. Accept the scenario, and maximize the opportunity which presents itself every day to get touches and to get better.
And a closing deeper statement - This is what being a part of a team means; sometimes the individual must suppress frustration because that is the responsibility of being on a team. A a member of a team, sometimes you just have to suck it up, to stay strong, to be supportive and positive even though it will drive you nuts. I have been there as an athlete and it taught me about being a better player, a better coach and hopefully better prepared to face the realities of being an adult.