1. Not in today's recruiting world - It seems all categories of collegiate volleyball are recruiting earlier than before. It is a natural progression for NCAA D2's to begin offering scholarships in the junior year, especially since the D2's have been able to enjoy earlier contact periods (compared to NCAA D1) the last couple of years. If these D2 coaches are astute, they can determine which players would make them better, but also not be the 1st recruit on the list of a mid or lower level DI program.
In terms of waiting for contact from DI, that is a tricky question to answer. DI's will reach out immediately if interested in a player (and many cast a very wide net) at anytime, as they are allowed to send an introductory letter and questionnaire (can be done via email) at anytime. But, I don't know how many tournaments your setter may have played in which were attended by DI schools? Broadly speaking, I would say DI's would have sent an introductory contact by now; please note, that the NCAA DI recruiting cycle never really ends and many programs do tend to recruit setters a bit later than hitters.
I think the question you should be asking is, what level does our daughter wish to play and what level are we most comfortable as parents with her playing?
2. Don't be in a hurry to decide either way; the old saying, 'doubt means don't' applies here. There are so many other particulars which come into play - geography, scholarship support, ability of the team, opportunity to play early and, and, and job stability of the coaching staff.
3. Absolutely use one school's scholarship offer as a means to increase the scholarship offer of a second school. This is business and remember that the money is not the coach's money but it is your money. Whatever you don't get, you will never get - For the school/program/coach, these are just numbers on a spread sheet.
When you wait, you risk having an opportunity close. This is the gamble, but the big mistake VolleyFamilies make is they take 'good enough' because they are afraid. And when they take 'good enough' it often turns into not very good.
Trust your instincts, work the recruiting process through, do your evaluation and research into the schools/programs - This is the job of the parents; let your kid be a kid and enjoy this once in a lifetime situation.